Who are you?

“One of the most wonderful things in nature is a glance of the eye; it transcends speech; it is the bodily symbol of identity.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is a question that has recently become a large hot button, especially for myself as a recent college graduate

People are constantly asking me, “What are your plans? Why are moving to the west coast? What do you want to do with your life?”

Every question is rooted in finding out what I am all about, as in society we are typically defined externally by our careers, goals, and achievements

Ultimately the question is essentially “who are you?”

While no one is asking me this directly, but rather indirectly, it is when we ask this very question to someone DIRECTLY that questions arise

“Who Am I?”

People will immediately either

A)  Draw a blank stare and have to think about who they really are

B)   Offer a abridged answer that typically defines them by the confines of the career, religion, or marital status

The interesting notion is that in fact, neither of these things are your identity

Your identity is something that is intangible, and utterly definable by  terms

The beauty and problem of identity lies in its tangibility

Because while it is tangible, your identity becomes ultimately defined by the people /career/etc that occur in your life

You become a victim of circumstances

For example

Perhaps you weren’t as vocal as other kids in your class

So kids begin to tell you are shy

Since there is no refuting evidence you believe them and in time adopt it as part of your personality

The next time you see a man or woman you want to talk to, you decide not to because “it’s not who you are”

This Pygmalion effect occurs every day in your life, and reinforces who you are in your mind, while simultaneously preventing you from trying new activities that might be “not who you are”

Perception is Projection so to speak

On the other hand because your identity is in face tangible, you have the ability to change it to whatever you want

If for example you are a safe, quiet person, but you desire to a an adventuring hard spoken individual you merely need to change your criteria for who you are

Instead of associating yourself with the mental perception of being “safe and quiet”

You need to find new verbs, terms, and adjectives that better describe who you would like to be

Write them all down on a piece of paper

Yes seriously write them down

The first step is to assume that you are already an adventurous person, and therefore wean your identity to make a shift from quiet and safe to loud and adventurous

You need to try as hard as possible to think, feel, and act as who you aspire to be

Then ask yourself what ACTION you need to take in order to become more adventurous/loud spoken

For example, maybe your friends ask you to go cliff diving, and you jump to say “No thanks, that’s not…..” But you cut yourself off, you realize that you are embodying the characteristics of an adventurous person so therefore you reluctantly accept your friends offer instead of simply saying “that’s not me”

As you follow through with action in addition to assuming the role of the person you want to be, your new identity will begin to take shape, and the amazing part is that you will see immediate results as long as action is taken.

So when you get to the edge of the cliff you don’t look down and say no, but rather you say to yourself “This is who I WANT to be” and jump

Every time you follow through in your actions, thoughts, and beliefs of who you are striving to be, you in fact embody that identity and find that you not only had the capacity to be a different person all along, but that the capacity to do all the things that “weren’t who you are” was within you all along

Have fun being who you want to be

Gabriel