What do you do when your whole life revolves around wanting to be something greater than yourself?
When all you care about is doing something bigger, better, and more amazing than the next guy?
If your drive in life revolves around making your life a never ending upward trapeze act?
Depression is the answer ladies and gentlemen.
I have found myself constantly back at square one, wondering why I am unable to achieve the results of my dreams. How is it that I can continually push forward in nearly every aspect of my life but only find myself back at the beginning, with nothing to “show” for it?
Sure, maybe it’s a quarter life crisis that only a person in abundance can achieve, but problems in ones life are only as big or small as the person sitting in the middle of it all.
I have always felt that I was capable of doing amazing things in my life, and as a result I have pushed myself to the breaking point in many areas of my life. From dating to physical fitness and everything in between, I have seen the highest mountain tops and the lowest of valleys, but where does it all end up?
Is there a fairly tale ending? Does the knight get his princess along with six pack abs and a passion filled full time job?
Or does it all end horribly wrong? Does everything culminate to a near death breaking point and one is relinquished to a life of solitude, obesity, lack of motivation and utter despair?
Morbid? Yes
Possible? Who knows?
What I do know is that constantly comparing myself to others while at the same time not giving a fuck what anyone else thinks might be one the biggest juxtaposition in the self help industry.
Fuck everyone else’s opinion? Hell yes
But fuck me if the guy next door actually can pay his bills while I eat 2 pound bags of oatmeal a day? Yes
I am unsure as to what the next move is for me, the rollercoaster that is my life never seems to end, but one can only persevere to the next step, whatever that might be.
Waiting for a miracle
Gabriel
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